Overnight Dates and DRAMA!

“It’s part one of the shocking conclusion of the Bachelorette” – from Chris Harrison himself (sounds kind of familiar…).  Unfortunately, some jerkface put the ending via Reality Steve on Facebook.  On FACEBOOK!  A whole two weeks before the end!  So I believe I know what happens and what Des is up to now (I’ll put this spoiler at the bottom, after a lot of spaces, if you want to know).  Ooh, “The television event of the summer starts right now.” Chris has gotten some new material.

Fairy tale!  Drink!  Des is standing on a sailboat looking longingly into her future, I’m sure.  Since Zak is gone, I guessing we can get through this episode without anyone singing – although Chris is still around, so there will probably still be some poetry.  I guess I’m not a romantic.  Flashbacks from the season – they’re showing Brian (right?) the guy whose girlfriend showed up.  I read that they are back together – come on girl, have some self respect.

First date is Drew – lots of “wow this place is amazing” – I feel like these two are still a little awkward together for how far along in this journey we are – he might be going home next.  Des is going on about how good looking Drew is – abs, eyes, face – Amen sister.

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“You’re sincere, you’re honest, blah blah blah” – seems forced to me.  Now it’s gotten dark, and they are kissing beneath an umbrella in the rain – why do I like this show?  Des declares you can feel the love from Drew’s lips.  Hmmmm.  Now they’re talking about how the rain won’t ruin their evening oh my GOODNESS this is a snooze.  Fantasy suite card comes out and bow-chicka-wow-wowwwwww.  Drew is enthusiastically in.  They’re so boring, I’m not even going to write about what they’re saying.  Amazing, princess, you get the idea.  They both know Drew is ready to propose, and he kicks the camera guys out (“Okay guys, time to leave”) – that was a little bit funny.

And suddenly we’re back in Idaho, where Brooks is strolling through the park looking forlorn, because he isn’t ready to tell Desiree that he loves her.  You know, everyone does the stressed-out-stroll on this show.  No one ever just has a cigarette.

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Brooks isn’t comfortable with proposing at the end of this, and doesn’t want to answer the question “Do you love Desiree.”  Definitely a problem.  Sis tells him he knows the answer.  Sis is smart.  More or less, it sounds like if this was a regular relationship, Brooks would be fine – things are happening, but not fast enough for the Bachelorette (“Hello” to “Will you marry me?” in six weeks!).  Mom and sis encourage him to have that tough conversation and tell Des the truth.

Hey this is how my dog is sitting to watch with me – he’s pretty funny, huh?

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Chris’ date – I hope they aren’t as boring as Drew’s date, they’ve been less than thrilling in the past…although I did find it endearing with the two of them for some reason.  They’re off to explore Antigua (which apparently is pronounced without the “u”?) in a helicopter to Barbuda for a picnic on the beach – I kind of miss Sean and his zany dates.  They’re laying in the sand making out – that cannot be comfortable, and Des is going to need a real thorough shower before the fantasy suite knowwhatImean?  I do like them together.  Listening to Chris talk about how much he loves her tugs at my heartstrings a bit, much more so than with Drew.

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They’re at dinner, and Chris just asked Des how she feels about moving to Seattle.  This might be a deal-breaker for Des, she really likes CA – but now she says she can do what she wants anywhere, and is definitely open to it.  Des says there is an easiness with her and Chris – I knew it.  Their fantasy suite is pretty kickass and ON NO IT’S ANOTHER POEM!  It was more of a letter, so not too bad.  Lots of pool kissing.

Dun dun dunnnnnnn…Brooks is here, and is talking with Chris.  I wonder who Chris thinks is the biggest tool he’s met on the show, it’s been a lot of seasons!  Chris straight up asks “Are you not in love with this girl?” and Brooks can’t answer…Chris says he’s hearing that Des is not the girl for Brooks.  It’s taking him a while to admit it, but he finally says he doesn’t think Des is the love of his life.  He admits he’s been ready to get married before and it didn’t work out, so obviously he’s felt stronger for another woman in the past than he is feeling for Des.  He’s feeling the guilt and getting teary.  They’re dragging this out a little loooooong.  Chris tells him to man up and have the conversation with Des, and Brooks agrees, as soon as he can.  Despite his best efforts, he can’t force love.

Oh ABC, you are so cruel, letting Des go on and on about how crazy she is about Brooks.  She definitely saved the hot outfit for Brooks – so jealous of her stomach!

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She is so excited to see him, and he’s upset right off the bat – at least he didn’t waste any time letting her know something was wrong, and there weren’t a bunch of awkward “How are you?”s like when Emily gave Arie the fantasy date boot.  He’s telling her all the shit people say to people when they’re sorry to be hurting them, the stuff that makes the dumpee say “Well then why don’t you want me?”  Poor Des.  I think she wants him to get to the point, as she asks how he really feels.  I think she really is sad, but I also wonder if part of her is thinking about how she’ll be the first bachelor/bachelorette to go home empty-handed, since she’s straight up said he is the frontrunner.  OOOHHhhh, why now – she’s getting pissed!  Des has her knees up on the bench in front of her and her head in her knees – this is really very sad.  She just whispered “I don’t know what to say.  I love you.” and he asks why she didn’t say it earlier – WTF would that have mattered?!  If that would have made a difference, it makes me think that Brooks was just a big chicken, afraid to say it first if it might not have been said back.  Des says she’s never felt completely loved by anyone.  So much sadness.

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If she wanted to feel completely loved, maybe she should have kept Brandon around – HEY-O!

“I don’t care that you just broke my heart – I love you.”  Ouch.  And more crying, even by Brooks by himself.  Now they’re walking, and Des says the only reason for her being conflicted throughout this process is because she didn’t want to share her heart, she wanted to give it to him.  Brooks says he’ll shut up b/c he’s not helping, and Des agrees.  Ah, angry Des.  And one last, long hug goodbye.  Oh wait there is another one.  Des speed-walks out to the pier, and gets a moment’s privacy (likely only because there are no camera men in the water) while we watch Brooks cry and swear.

Des ends the show saying it breaks her heart knowing she has two dudes who do love her, but she can’t love them the way she loved Brooks – for her, it’s over.

So – according to the previously mentioned jerk on fb who posted Reality Steve’s spoiler (don’t read any further if you don’t want to know)…

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Brooks and Des are together and engaged.  My guess is she gives the other two dudes the boot and Brooks comes back ever-so regretful of his decision.  Till next week!

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