Des’ Season – Episode 2

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My first time writing the bachelorette blog post while using my treadmill w/ table, EEEEEEEEE so excited!  I feel skinnier already.

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The dudes are in the house.  There are many bro-comments and bro-backslaps.  I hope the dudes step it up in this episode – I was not excited after the last one.  There seem to be a lot of ken-doll hair styles in this crew.  First date card – and it’s Brooks.  Princess Desire is drawing to kill time before her date, and now she’s off in the product placement car.  Now she has to hug all 20 guys before going on her date with Brooks awkward!  Ooh, product placement car again.  Is Bentley trying to appeal to a younger, poorer audience?  The CRV from Ben’s season made more sense to me.
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Brooks’ date!  Wedding dresses on the first episode, ABC no one will buy the cow…OMG can you imagine if a chick suggested this as a first date in real life?  Another question…you know how people say there should be a drinking game where you drink every time someone says “journey” or “amazing”?  I think they should add every time Desiree references being a princess or in a fairy tale.  She’s fun, he’s nice, they’ve had relationships before, they’re making out on the L in the Hollywood sign.  Yawn.  OMG, THEY’RE LOST AND THERE IS GRAFFITI!! Now they’re moving road closed signs…this has got to be a joke…whew, it is.  Chandeliers on the bridge, a dinner for two, and a musician who I think I should know who he is.  These two do seem to be enjoying themselves, but they would be a snooze of a couple.  No future reality show for them!  He gets a rose, no surprise there.
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Back to the bro-ness – date number two is a group date, where they are making a rap video with soulja boy. “WHOOO?  YOUUUU!.”  The video is called “For the right reasons” – this is kind of hilarious.  Did Brandon pick that outfit for himself?  There are no pants involved.  Aaaahhh all the raps are making fun of past bachelors – awesome!  He has no pants b/c there is a tattoo on his man part – Casey!.  “My manager sent me to help me sell my single.  I’ll sing to you girl, if it helps me sell my jingle.”  Wes!  Love it.  Fake broken leg – Justin.  Propose and change my mind, cry so much it will make you sick – Mesnick.  Well done writers.  Fast forward to evening and one on one time – Zach W. is actually making a great impression following his shirtlessness last week.  Ben is talking about his kiddo…you know, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him bringing his son on the show, but after hearing him reference it getting him an edge in the last episode, I don’t know.  AH – he asked if he could kiss her – as a girl whose first kiss was post-ask I can tell you, this is not a good strategy.  The dudes do not like Ben, and I think they should stop drinking.  In the meantime, Bryden gets the date card…something about him struck me in the last episode, can’t think of what it was…military?  Back to the date, Brandon is telling about the family.  His dad left when he was five and his mom was a druggie – sad!  Des is trying to be all in for him, but I don’t know if she really is.  I do feel Brandon deserves the rose if she likes him, seeing as he had to walk around pantless for most of the day, but she gives it to Ben, which makes Mikey have feelers.  Impromptu rapping, make it stop…
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Bryden and Des are off on a California road-trip   They’ve stopped for snacks, waded in the water, few kites, ate fish tacos, now they’ve stopped to pick oranges…about now I’d be asking where the wine is (oh who am I kidding, I wouldn’t have made it past the fish tacos).  But now they’re in Ojai, and if what I learned from watching Brothers and Sisters is correct, this is a good sign.  Brayden brought pictures from a car accident to dinner.  That would be weird on any date…at least the accident taught him to have fun because you don’t know what will happen and you only get one shot at life.  DUCK!  Another cliche!  They’re flying around here…and it’s a rose for Bryden. Ooh, awkward pool time…this is awesome…we had a fun day…and Des says “Just kiss me already.”  I may just like her after all (and come on Bryden, man up!).
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Michael is the first dude with one on one time at the cocktail party, and he’s talking about his blood sugar.  Ben is stealing Des, and Michael is pissed b/c he has a rose already, but I think Michael should be glad he stopped him from talking any more about diabetes…Des seemed bored.  The dudes are really pissed, three on one in an argument by the pool, and I’ve got to say Ben is looking the best.  He’s lying pretending he didn’t know he was stealing her, but other than that, he looks better because he’s keeping his cool and Michael and Mikey are freaking.  I’ve lost track of who is bitching, but one of the dudes said Ben mentioned other bachelors coming on the show with one bar and then it turns into five – that doesn’t sound good (apparently he has a bar).
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ROSE CEREMONY!  Brooks, Ben, and Bryden have roses – the key to Des’ heart is a name that starts with B.  Oh hi So. American guy, where have you been all episode?  He gets a rose…ooh, stick to english Des.  Yay Drew, he’s a cutie.  Ugh, Michael, now we get at least one more week of whining.  A sweaty Brandon gets the last rose…he has got to chill, he’s going to make her feel smothered for sure.  Bye bye Will, he seemed like a good dude, I bet she was sad he couldn’t dance in the rap video.  Robert is going home too, I thought he was a cutie, plus I have a soft spot for the ad guys.  And bye bye as well to Nick M.
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NEXT WEEK SOMEONE’S GIRLFRIEND SHOWS UP!  YES!
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