Sean’s Harem Tells All!

Kiddo is sleeping, wine is poured (Starmont Sauvignon Blanc – a little more effervescent than I’d expected) – time to make myself a little bit dumber.  THE BACHELOR THE WOMEN TELL ALL – WOOHOO!!  Sups excited to see my old pals Selma, Lesley, and Des, and to see Tierra prove that the theory that the amount of times you say you hate drama is directly proportionate to how often you create it.

Ladies in the audience are cheering and high-fiving when Chris Harrison asks what they think about Sean with his shirt off – please.  It’s not like he’s Taylor Lautner.  Wait, Sean and Chris crashed Bachelor viewing parties?  How did I miss this?  Joel, Duds and I aren’t a viewing party?  Oh, Joel said he would shut the door in their faces.  I guess it’s good we missed out.  Okay, no one at the sorority house even stood up, they totes knew he was coming.  Bye Joel.
Wow, I’d forgotten about some of these girls (50 shades of drunk, Kacie B, Amanda the kind of strange fit model).  Lesley is adorbs as usual, next bachelorette (unless it’s Selma)!!!  Aw, flashbacks of Tierra and her hypothermia.  Okay – all these girls are skinny minny, but she was the thickest on that date, seems odd that she’d be the one to get the hypothermia.  Moving on…ugh, now it’s all about her.  Commercial – but first, ABC is going to show us what they’re going to show us after the commercial.  Sups helpful, thanks ABC.
I kind of hate myself for writing about her…here she is.  She just said when she walks into a room she says she brings light and joy.  Pretty sure that is something other people say about you, you don’t say about yourself – bet she is the type of girl who give herself a nickname as well (amiright Becky?  Call me Kitty).  I HATE when average/slightly better than average girls complain about being judged based on their looks.  Get over yourself.  Robin tells her straight up she’s delusional – gotta love an honest blunt girl.  “I was friendly” – oh Tierra, perception is reality.  If no one thinks you were friendly, you weren’t friendly.  And now – the AshLee/Tierra fight…HA HA HA, “Tierra made her own cot”…have I mentioned that I love Lesley?  “I apologize for you guys thinking I didn’t want to talk to you…” this chick is hilarious, talk about a back-handed apology.  Now Chris is bringing up the viewers, OMG…America cares about her eyebrows, and she knows it has it’s own twitter.  She was Little Ms. Nevada.  What.  HOLY MOLY that is a chunk of a ring – of course she is engaged, she looked like an idiot on the show…we’ll see when she gets married.
I can’t believe how upset Sarah is.  She thinks she’s always strung along and then let go because she only has one arm – I know of many a two-armed gal older than 26 who are single (they’re sitting in front of you, Sarah).  Darn it – caught up on DVR, no more fast forwarding.
Another commercial – sorry this post has no pictures, my TV is too far away from the couch and i’m tired.  Here is Dudley, he’s pretty close.
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This is what I listened to during the commercials – Head Like a Hole and Call Me Maybe mashup – it’s disturbingly good once you get to the chorus: http://www.theverge.com/2013/3/4/4064574/nins-head-like-a-hole-mashed-with-call-me-maybe-is-perfect. Wait, was that just a commercial for Diving with the Stars?  Oh, it’s called Splash.  These crazy kids, what will they think of next, I tell ya…
DES!  Wearing white, not many can pull that off.  The point has been made that she is “beloved” – otherwise this interview is kind of a snooze.
Checking Facebook during this commercial break – here is one of the ads I was served.  Well played, Kirk DeWindt Personal Training (and another picture that I didn’t have to get up for!).
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ASHLEE takes the stage!  You know it’s about to get a bit intense when this girlfriend is in the mix.  She is a beauty!  Don’t you think someone who is this upset about being abandoned wouldn’t be so quick to fall?  I do kinda love how she left without saying anything to him, a la Bachelor Ben’s pre-bachelor season with Ashley: “Things don’t end unless they end badly.”  She says she’s a reserved person – yeah right!  Married at 17, crazy in love with Sean…I do not believe she is reserved.  But whatevs.  Sean just told AshLee form the beginning she was a front-runner, but he couldn’t “find that laughter” with her.  And now he understands why Emily always talked about their future together.  “But Sean you’re a gentleman, you’re supposed to be the man here” – she’s out for blood!  WHOA!  She just asked “Why did you say you had absolutely no feelings for them?”  Can’t wait to hear him dig himself out of this one…ack, it’s all “he said she said” (or in this case I guess, she said, he says he did NOT say).  Sad, we will never know.  Perhaps Sean was a bit tipsy??
AWKWARD (turtle!).  Commercial time again – gotta text Tracie, who is watching at the same time.
BLOOPERS!  Chris ran into a lantern, things are falling…including Sean, who just railed himself on a bike.  And he can’t drive a clutch.  Or open some Yellow Tail wine (your blurred label doesn’t fool me).  Jackie is afraid of a duck?!  I had a friend wouldn’t get into my car once because there was a pigeon under it, I guess some people have ornithophobia (see, now you’ve learned something today!).
Ooh, commercial for DWTS, which supposedly Sean is on, although it’s still a secret…the song is that Christina Aguilera one “I just want to feel this moment” – I love her as of late, I watched Burlesque this weekend.  Bad reviews, but I loved it (Matt?)!
Now a review of his relationships with Catherine and Lindsey…yawn.  Okay, only yawn for Catherine, Lindsey in the wedding dress and kissing him 60 seconds after he gets out of the limo is pretty entertaining.  I am surprised (pleasantly) that these are the last two girls – I like them both, neither seem like gold-diggers or fame seekers.  And both seem to be natural beauties – nicely done Sean.
So I gotta know…who do you think?  I’m guessing Lindsey.  And who do you think the letter is from – my guess is his mom.  One more week!
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One response to “Sean’s Harem Tells All!

  1. becky

    I can’t believe I just found this post! So here is a thought- I think AshLee has a future working as an evil doer on a soap opera. She has the look! Did you watch the finale? eh.

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